fossil-fish
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JokesTwo English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk
by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman
walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Irish accent asked 'What might ye be
sellin' here?'
One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling ass-holes.'
Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said, 'You are doing very well ...only two left!'
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TWO WOMEN TALKING IN HEAVEN
1st Woman: Hello! My name is Maggie.
2nd Woman: Hello! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st Woman: I froze to death.
2nd Woman: How awful!
1st Woman: It wasn't so bad. After I stopped shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd Woman: I died of a massive heart attack I suspected my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead I found him all by himself in the house watching TV.
1st Woman: So what happened?
2nd Woman: I was so sure there was another woman somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and then down into the cellar.
I went through each wardrobe and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st Woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer.
We'd both still be alive.
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